So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
