So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
