Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
