After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
