Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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