I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
