Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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