Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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