okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I want a musical about memes.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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