I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
