we have pet lesbian snakes
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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