So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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