Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
