The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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