Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
