Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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