someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize