It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
