Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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