Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
