dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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