i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
