The maid of honor just puked.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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