so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She's like a pop up book from hell.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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