i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
