Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
