I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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