I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
