Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
