I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
