I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
