So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He felt like a one man threesome
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
