Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
