Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize