How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
