how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
