Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
