I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize