im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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