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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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