you would pick up someone in the library
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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