Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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