It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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