This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize