No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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