Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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