Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
