dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
