The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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