READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
