Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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