I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
only if we run a train.
done.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
40s are totally the cure
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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