Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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