And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
