How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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