you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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