she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize