I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
