im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
