which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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