holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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