it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize