the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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