hell yes lets make some ravioli
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
