Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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