Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
