Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
