In the future we'll all be gay
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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