Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
