I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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