well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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