Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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