i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
