i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
