weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
