I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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