vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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